A lot of people try to be mindful, but not so many people train the skills of mindfulness.
Let’s take a moment to first understand the difference between trying and training.
When you try something, it's usually more sporadic and noncommittal. It's more like, "Let's see how this goes." You dip your toe in. You get a taste of something here or there to see how you feel about it. We might try a new food, a new class, a new way of behaving, or a new exercise. Trying things is great! It helps you to expand your perspective, experiences, and understand what you like and don’t like.
And then there is training. When you train in something, you commit to the process. You see it through the highs and lows, the challenges and triumphs, in order to improve or reach a goal. Training usually requires planning, tracking, reflection, rest/integration and oftentimes a teacher or coach.
Can you feel the difference?
One isn't better than the other, but they definitely bring different experiences and results.
So often, we have a particular goal or want to improve in some way, and we say to ourselves, "I'm really trying!!!" But nothing is really changing. Have you been there?
Oftentimes, what we're really missing is a structured plan and a conscious commitment to what we want to work on. This is what helps channel our energy and focus toward what matters most.
MINDFULNESS TRAINING
If becoming a more mindful person feels important to you, I highly recommend taking a training course.
There are many, many ways to try being more mindful, and the practices themselves are often quite simple! The hardest part is remembering to do them, choosing which practice to do, deciding when to do it, figuring out how long to practice, and so on.
Our brains are already working hard to manage day-to-day life and all the decisions that come with it. Learning a new skill requires additional effort, so it's easy to skip it altogether.
We bookmark Instagram posts, save informational emails, and intend to do all the things. Then, before we know it, those intentions fall to the side and pile up into an ever-growing list of things we should be doing.
Sound familiar?
The thing about taking a mindfulness course is that you step out of the "trying" stage and into a training field.
While committing time and energy to a specific course might seem more difficult, it's often exactly what we need: structure, guidance, accountability, and dedicated space to do the thing we keep meaning to do.
The skills of mindfulness are something we need to develop, train and maintain- just like any other important life skill we have practiced.
Presence. Awareness. Compassion. Attention and focus. Equanimity. Patience. Discernment. Embodiment. Deep listening. Non-reactivity.
These are CRITICAL skills we can strengthen over time, and they enhance our lives in immeasurable ways.
For thousands of years, Buddhist practitioners have trained in these skills to cultivate wisdom, peace, and compassion. Professional athletes train their attention and awareness to perform at their best. Great leaders train these skills consistently to build trust, strengthen communities, and lead meaningful change.
Mindfulness isn't just something you do. It's something you develop.
SO, HOW DO YOU START TRAINING?
You first need to decide that developing these skills matters to you enough to give them some consistent attention. Us humans need a compelling reason to train in something. We generally reach for change when our current way of being is creating a lot of suffering. Maybe our job suffers, our health is declining, our relationships are falling apart. As difficult as this is, it is often the catalyst for the change we deeply need.
If you’re feeling that pull towards transformation- here are three ways to begin:
1. Choose a skill to develop.
Rather than trying to become more mindful in every area of your life, get specific. Do you want to improve your ability to focus? Manage stress? Respond rather than react in triggering situations? Feel more connected to your body? Become more compassionate toward yourself? Learn how to forgive?
Choose one place to begin.
2. Choose a course or structured program that aligns with what you want to develop.
Once you've identified the skill you want to strengthen, look for a course that specifically supports that goal. Want to manage stress more effectively? Improve your focus? Become less reactive? Feel more connected to your body?
Different courses offer different approaches, so look for one that resonates with your needs, interests, and learning style. Find something that offers more than information- something that gives you opportunities to practice, reflect, and apply what you're learning to your everyday life.
3. Commit.
Make a conscious commitment to see it through. Set aside the time, show up for the practices, and give yourself permission to be a beginner. You won't always feel motivated, and some practices may feel more challenging than others. That's part of training.
Rather than evaluating your progress after every practice; simply stay curious about what you're learning and keep showing up. That’s where the magic is.
FROM PRACTICE TO EMBODIMENT
Once you start a period of training something specifically (intention and focus), your brain is going to start developing new neural pathways that will allow the skill to become first, more accessible, and eventually- more second nature.
Just like our body has a muscle memory to do something almost unconsciously after learning it (like riding a bike!) our brain is the same way. Going through a period of intentional practice and reflection of the skills of mindfulness makes it so much easier to reach for these skills when you need them.
Because the goal isn't to become someone who is mindful all the time. You'll continue to get distracted. You'll forget to practice. You'll react when you wish you'd paused. That's part of being human. The training is in the noticing, the small shifts, the beginning again, and the choosing of new ways of being.
So, here's a question for you:
What is one skill you want to develop that could meaningfully change the way you experience your life?
And are you simply trying to develop it, or are you ready to train?
